Top Ten Ways to Kill a Zombie
Zombies are not like humans. They do not require the things that normal humans need in order to make it through life. Humans need oxygen, water and food, but all a zombie needs is a brain. It is that need for brains that makes it detrimental for humans to know how to effectively kill zombies. Though there are many ways to kill zombies, some are much better than others.
1. The Sword makes a great zombie killing tool because they provide a quiet kill and are long enough to give the bearer some leeway room. Swords come in many sizes and varying degrees of sharpness so one must always proceed with caution when wielding one, else they might take off their own arm. A good sword will give the human between eighteen and twenty-six inches of room between them and the zombie. They are often heavy, but when wielded right, can slice the zombie’s head right off. Swords do not require bullets, but a downside to them, is that they do require a strong arm to hold them. When silence is needed, the sword is an ideal zombie killer.
2. If crowd control is necessary, and it will be at some point, vehicles are the answer to killing several zombies at once. Large tractor steam rollers work very well in crushing the brains of several zombies at a time. The negative is that they are also slow moving which could result in a buildup of zombies around the cab.
3. When the need to blow a hole through a zombie head is imminent, shotguns are the answer. They will do the job every time, so long as the shooter knows what they are doing. The plus side with the shotgun is that it will put a hole in the head (or blow it completely off) which will immediately render the zombie dead. The downside is that, shotguns are very loud and will likely summon all other zombies to the area in a rather short amount of time. One must be prepared to leave at once.
4. Sledge hammers are often overlooked because the balance of the swing is odd and very heavy. However, if one can get comfortable with this weapon, they should. When swung directly into the head with the right amount of force it will crush the skull of the zombie. The plus side is that it is capable of crushing through the skull in one blow. The downside is that the awkward feel of the swing can cause confusion and anxiety in one who is unprepared to wield it. Another downside is that close proximity to the zombie is necessary when using a sledge hammer.
5. Sniper rifles are great at providing distance from the zombies while also effectively killing them. Rifles are powerful and accurate which makes them ideal for long range head shots. The downside is that, unless equipped with a silencer they are very loud and they require bullets which can sometimes be hard to find.
6. Flamethrowers can be an optimal weapon for killing straggling zombies, if the right conditions are met. They can shoot flames for up to two hundred feet incinerating anything in its path. Zombies do not feel pain and would not know what hit them until it was too late. The downside to flamethrowers is that not only are they heavy to lug around, but they are also illegal and therefore are hard to come by.
7. For those who feel capable and confident in close combat, the Trench Knife provides a super effective way to penetrate zombie skulls. The brass knuckle handle provides ease of use making it that much easier to strike the zombie through the skull. The trench knife was specifically made to pierce through enemy helmets during WW1. The only downside to the trench knife is the close proximity needed in order to perform a death blow to the zombie.
8. Booby traps can be set up by digging holes around the homestead, preferably at least six feet deep and wide. This would be extremely time consuming but as long as one remembers where they are throughout the yard it could be beneficial at catching and killing many zombies at once. Once the hole is filled up, throw a Molotov cocktail down in and let them burn. Just be careful to not catch anything else around on fire.
9. A wooden baseball bat, would be a great way to bash a zombie skull in. Baseball bats are quiet, sturdy, and easy to hold. Make sure the bat is wooden and not aluminum, otherwise it could warp on a good hit and then be useless. The last thing you want is to find yourself in a zombie fight without a weapon. There is no real downside to the bat, except that it will become tiring if one has to swing it all day.
10. A power drill is great to have as a backup zombie killer. They are light and have a handle that is effortless to grip. That makes it much easier to cut through zombie skull tissue. There is a real downside to the drill. They are a powered tool and once out of power they are practically useless. Another downside is the amount of time needed to clean it up after the kill. A power drill is a great secondary source and should be included in an arsenal but not heavily depended upon.
Each situation where a human is fighting for their life against zombies calls for different tactics, because each weapon has an up and downside to it. One person might be a better shooter, and another might be better at swinging a bat. The trick to surviving a zombie undertaking is not in the weapons or traps themselves. The real trick is in knowing what one is capable of with what they have on hand.